THE PISCEAN RELEASE

Janet Jackson - Discipline (Rock Witchu Tour - Oracle Arena, Oakland, CA)

2008-10-06T15:59:00.001-07:00

just had to share

2008-09-16T15:36:00.000-07:00

September 16, 2008

Have I actually not posted in awhile? I'm sorry. I said I would do better.

Well, this is going to be short and sweet. I want everyone to check out this link and if you can make it please come out and support. If you know anyone that is in the State of California, please spread the word.

DIVA'S SIMPLY SINGING 2008

DIVAS SIMPLY SINGING! is a magical evening of song and entertainment that will benefit Women Alive Coalition in 2008. This unusual event features a host of the most talented women in the entertainment business united in a benefit concert to continue the courageous battle against HIV/AIDS.

In 1990 Sheryl Lee Ralph established the Diva Foundation and created DIVAS Simply Singing! as a loving memorial to the many friends she had lost to HIV/AIDS. For 18 consecutive years, the DIVA and her friends have come together to raise their voices in song and commitment to HIV/AIDS awareness and prevention. Each diva performs one song with the sole accompaniment of a concert grand piano. It's like no other show you've seen. The lights, the mic, and DIVAS Simply Singing!

Every cent of the millions raised through their efforts goes to help men, women, and children infected and affected by HIV/AIDS. AIDS affects us all!

Make a donation of $25 or more to the DIVA Foundation and receive a copy of the 16th or 17th Annual DIVAS Simply Singing! DVD. See the show everyone has been talking about. Donations accepted online via PayPal. Visit the Diva Merchandise page for more information.

Don't miss this year's show, save the date:
Saturday, October 11, 2008 at 7:30PM
Wilshire Theatre Beverly Hills, 8440 Wilshire Boulevard
Beverly Hills, CA 90211

www.divassimplysinging.com

2008-07-26T05:49:00.000-07:00

JULY 25TH, 2008

I KNOW, I KNOW, I KNOW. It has been a helluva long time since I blogged. Not like I get a lot of readers but I do love and appreciate the few I have.

Where do I begin? Ummm work is going very well. I am truly enjoying my job, of course once my 6 months temp time is up I look forward to moving into another dept. Yea, like my company back in LA, they are making me temp for 6 months before I become perm. Can I say that there is sooooo much eye candy at my job that it looks like a candy shop. No joke. I mean both sexes. It's hot

I am still in the process of looking for my own spot. Finding a decent apartment has proven to be very challenging. I went to one area, thinking it was an upscale area, walked inside the apt and got sick to my stomach. How can anyone show an apartment like that. Well, actually no one was there, the renter left the door open and told me that I could go in and to call here if I liked the place. I should have know just from that.

I am still meeting new people, trying to get a small friend base that is not associated with my best friend (that's another story for another time). I need my own group of friends. It's been going pretty well. A little slow but it's for the best.

THE DEBT IS COMING DOWNNNNNN. Thank you LORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have less the amoun due on my student loan than I thought, which is a great thing. I anticipate being debt free by my birthday. MARCH 9th. Pray my strength. Thanks everyone for the advice regarding the UK or debt free.

I had my first root canal on yesterday. I clowned in the dentist office. It was painfull. He gave me the novacaine. It was kewl but when he started to dig and get the nerve, that's when I lost it. The **** hurt. He had to stick the syringe in the hole on the nerve to numb it. That was worse. Man, I felt like giving up the ghost and go home to glory. I have to go back on Monday to have it completed. The dentist said " the worst is over", how many times have we heard that one.

Ok, I have been here on the east coast for 4 months now and have yet to meet an east coast blogger. Umm what's up with that east coast????? I'm waiting???????? J/K, I know we all are busy

Oh, I will be in Chicago for the Thanksgiving Holiday. So Mr. Chicago Blogger lets meet sir.

My old, old, old friend Mr. BB. Let's get it together man. I haven't seen you in a veery long time. Let's make it happen. Did you call Kevin on his Bday? He will be in ATL the first week for Augst.

Mr. TJ, I will be in LA Oct, 8 - 13th. We will have dinner, on me of course. I owe you.

Have a great week everyone.

2008-06-04T16:25:00.000-07:00

June 4th

I know, I know. It's been a min. since I have blogged. Where should I begin? Miami, Apt, Job, there is soo much.

Ok, I will start with Miami for Memorial Day. Can I say that it was truly five star for me. It was not trash, smutty, everything was first class.
I went to Miami for Memorial day and meet some friends from LA and Chicago there. Can I tell you that I had a ball. I haven't partied until 7 and 8am in a very long time. It was well worth it. I had no problems getting right in the clubs, the music was banging and the people were hella kewl.
Miami was great. Words can not describe it. The beach was off the hook. Yes it was a clothing optional beach. Yes I have a pic..... LOL

Enough of that.

Started my new job in Newark. I like the company so far. They have a full cafe where food can be cooked on the spot. That's a plus. The pay is ok for now but looking to make a little more. It's in negotiations.

Still looking for an apt. I found one here in Union City but the bedroom is ryte on the sidewalk. Looking in Newark but not deep in Newark. Actually looking for a nice loft.

Ok, check this out. I usually don't put my personal business out here but I am almost out of debt. I am so excited. Here's the thing I can be totally debt free by the end of the year but I also want to save for my trip to the UK next year for my birthday. What should I do? Go ahead and clear up the debt and wait for the trip or pay half the debt and take the trip. Help me out readers. TRENT HELLLLLLPPPPPPPPP

Ok, I am going to jump up off here. I will holla at you good people later. Ok, Fuzz. How about BBQ's or is there somewhere else we all can meet up that I can get to? Let me know.

2008-05-20T20:46:00.000-07:00

May 21, 2008

Hey, what's going on Blogland? Hope all is well with everyone. Thanks to the few that read my blog. I appreciate it.

It's 12:37 am, sitting here listening to "Any Crown" sung by Juanita Bynum. I'm in a state. Lot's going through my mind. I spoke to one of my former church members back in Chicago tonite and got so home sick for my church family. I miss the ministry and the fellowship. Not to say that I have not attended a service here. I did make it to Agape Family Worship Center with Pastor Lawrence Powell and enjoyed the service. (sorry Fuzzy, I was riding with someone else or I would have made plans to meet up with you sir.)

I have been preparing and packing for Miami. I have been waiting for this trip since last year and now all of a sudden I'm not excited anymore. It seems so pointless to me now. What is the hype, why am I going, am I to old for all of this. Although, it's my first time going, it seems to be for nothing now. What am I going to get out of the trip? What will it bring to my life? Will it edify the Lord? Will I be able or should I say would I witness to someone to let them know that no matter what they go through and no matter what life may brings God still loves them. I do believe that it is God's desire for all to be saved and I hope that I can just encourage one person then my trip will not be in vain. (Did I just answer all my questions that I just posted?)

I am going to do something that I have only done once before. If I keep it up, only time will tell.
I am going to post my pic. There will be a before and after.

Hope I don't scare anyone away.

Peace and Blessings

2008-05-01T00:19:00.000-07:00

5/1/08

Good early morning blogland. It's 3:22am on this Thursday morning. I am sitting here at my laptop with my headphones on listening to CeCe Winans new cd "Thy Kingdom Come". It's awesome. Total praise and worship. It's been a rough one you guys I lost a friend this week. Her name was Chelsea. She was on her way back from Africa 3wks ago. She was doing volunteer wrk working with the women of Monkey Biz(an organization that assist women in Africa that are HIV positive and that have AIDS) and somehow a blood clot that started in here leg ended up in her lung. She died on Sunday. It's still a shock. They sent me yesterday her Africa journal that she was keeping on youtube (Journey to Africa). Just sad.

On another note. Since being here on the east coast, I feel that I have the form of Godliness but no power there of. I really need to get back to my prayer life and to my service. I have yet to find a church home. I was to check out a church in Rahway and have yet to make it there. I have time to make it to all these plays I will def make time for church on Sunday. I better get a big umbrella.

I have not started working yet but things are looking prosperous. I believe it's all in God's timing. Thank God I have a nice reserve and haven't had to jump in it yet.

I am headed to Miami for Memorial Day. I have never been so hey, why not. I am going to live life. I realize that life is too short to just walk around and not live to your full potential. In God's word he says" I come to give you life and that more ABUNDANTLY". Who says that God's people can laugh and enjoy themselves? Certainly not the Lord.

Again on another note. I have had two dates since I have been here on the East Coast. Both were pretty kewl. One was brunch and the other was lunch. Both were great and I really enjoyed. Long days and long conversations. One we had so much in common it was scary. Even to both of us having a love for Borders Books. That is odd. lol

Well my friends I will leave on this note. It comes from the Book of Psalms. Psalms 27:14
Wait on the Lord; Be of good courage. And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the Lord!

2008-04-23T18:25:00.000-07:00

Out of Control

Hey, what's going on Blog Fam? I am so sorry for not keeping up with my blog since I have been here on the east coast.

I have missed a lot by not checking in. Fuzzy, I apologize for missing the B-day Party (HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY SIR) and I guess I missed the blogger reunion.

Things have been a little crazy here but a good crazy. Still not working yet but its all good. Been to several plays, been to DC and just making plans to handle business.

Off to Miami in May so that should be an exciting trip. I still hope to meet a few of the east coast bloggers sooner or later. I feel as if I have been missing a lot.

Until later.

Peace and Blessings

2008-03-13T20:16:00.000-07:00

Hey, whats going on Blog family.
What's going on. I am just here chillin in Union City,NJ. listening to Israel and New Breed sing "I lift up my hands". That's what I feel right now. I just feel like worshipping God. He has been so good fam. I can't explain it. I am truly in love with the father, not for all that he has done but for who he is in my life.

As I type this, tears are starting to form and fall down my face. You know sometimes experiences are just not explainable. I can not explain what I am feeling. The tears are not tears of sorrow but those of joy. I worship the Lord, I give him glory and honor. There is nothing that can turn me away from him. Nothing will separate me from the love of God.

I know as I type this the enemy is preparing his attack but NO WEAPON FORMED AGAINST ME SHALL PROSPER. That is God's word and I stand on his word daily. I have come to far to turn back. Our mission, or I will say my mission in life is to be a servant for the Lord and to tell others that there is a God who loves them with an unconditional love. Regardless of what the religious people are speaking. GOD LOVES US.. He does not make any mistakes......

This is my season, you know what I am declaring it for everyone. This is a New Season for everyone.

Be Bless everyone.

I Am Changing By Jennifer Hudson

2008-03-05T16:20:00.001-08:00

2008-03-05T15:51:00.000-08:00

March 5, 2008

First, to God be the Glory for giving us the Victory.

I am now in Newark NJ. I have had a safe trip from the west coast to the east coast. God is an awesome God. I can tell you that I have learned so much within my 10 years in Los Angeles. I have been up and I have been down but thru it all God was by my side every step of the way. He never left me or forsaken me. Although, it may have seem if he had but that is not the way he operates. He took me through some things so that I can grow and I love him for that. I can truly say that i did some growing up mentaly, spiritually and physically.

Now I am ready for what he has for me on the east coast. First things first. I need to find a place of worship. Fuzzy, Omar can you guys help a brother out, give me some suggestions.

Next will be to obtain a job. Yes, a brother is already on the grind. No time for play. This is a serious matter.

As far as the place to lay my head, i am looking at Harlem. I am chillin at my best friends for now but I plan on being out of here by the end of next month.

Oh, I want to say thanks to everyone that has read my blog. I know it is not like a lot of the other blogs. I am not as deep, not as informing, not as comical, not as controversal as other and you didn't have to read or commit but you did and i thank you.

- Mr. Jackson. I owe you sir. I will send you the email address.

Until later people.

Peace and Blessings

2008-02-11T19:06:00.000-08:00

What's going on peeps. This is your boi THE PISCEAN given you a holla on this Monday evening. Hope the weekend was all good with everyone. As for myself it was all good.
Can I tell you that I have met more people withing the last two weeks than I have in the 10 years that I have lived here in Cali.

Yo blog fam, want to make a special request. Yo, please don't sleep on Ledisi and Eric Roberson. Yo, these two gifted artist are the TRUTH. Yo you don't here me. This is true singing.

Iight I'm back. So lets see... It's countdown time. I have 3wks left here in Cali. Can I tell you that I am already packed. Yep, packed for about two weeks now. lol. I still have a lot to do before I am up and out of here. I am really feeling at ease with this move. I think, scratch that, I know GOD has big things in store for me because I am walking in faith and trusting him. I do believe the word says " Trust in the Lord in all thy ways and lean not to thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge HIM and HE shall direct your path".

Let's see... I have located 3 apts that I am looking over. 1 in Harlem, 1 in Brooklyn and 1 in Union City Jersey. Union City is the least expensive, plus it's right by the tunnel and it would only take 15 mins to Manhattan. The spot in Harlem, well let's just say it's in Harlem. I haven't checked out the Brooklyn spot yet.

Oh, I will be on the East Coast for my B-Day ( March 9th). Let's just say it will be interesting considering that my best friend is there and he always try to suprise me and plan things.

Hey, is anyone going to MIAMI, please let me know..

Much Peace people..

2008-01-22T18:25:00.000-08:00

January 22, 2008

What's going on blogland? I'm chillin here in the dark listening to a mix cd and Whitney is playing right about now. What can I say about today, I wasted the whole day. I took the day off and I just chilled. I deserve it, what can I say.

Yo big ups to my boi Sir Trent. Yo I am excited about the road that this brother is on.

Well, although not too many peeps responded, I believe I will be a new resident of NYC come the second week in March. Yep, I am real geeked about it.

** side bar** I took two tylenol PMs so I might be out of it in a min*********

Yo to all who is reading this, I am planning on winding my bday up at the ABBEY, March 9th. It's not a party but I will be there partying. lol That will be my last night at the ABBEY( i never knew how to spell that correctly).

Um, lets see, what else. Yo if you can, check out my boi " Marcus Bellamy's youtube videos. Not just the feedback one, but all of them. This brother has some serious moments.

iight, I am rambling. Will end this now.

Peace and Blessings

2008-01-09T21:20:00.000-08:00

1/9/08 Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yea , yea ,yea. I know I am about 9 days late. So what's going on blogland? Here we are in a year of new beginnings. A year of new experience, new friends, new relationships, new careers and all that good stuff.

Well I have some news. It's count down time for me. After 10 years I will be leaving Cali. Finally.... I have one month and 22days left. I am excited and at times I get a little sad but it is all for the good.

Where am I going? Glad that you asked. It's between two states. I will either go back to Chicago, which is home for me or I will start a new adventure in NYC.

Ok, here is were my fellow bloggers play a part in my future.

1. If I move back home to Chicago, I have a place there already and the mortgage is $490.00 So I will prob pay about $250.00 in rent and utilities. I know that finding a job will not be a problem. The train is two blocks from my home and my car is paid for.

2. If I move to NYC, I will be staying with my best friend for a couple of months until I find a place and I am looking to transfer with my company. Rent prob will run me close to $1200.oo. Again my car is paid for but I doubt I will drive it a lot in the city so there will prob be a storage fee or garage fee. The positive to this is that it will be something new, exciting and I will not be complacent nor comfortable. If I go home it will be easy to get stuck in a rut wanting more. So, fellow bloggers, tell me what you think. I am open to all suggestions. (T. J. can't wait to read your response.)

Lets see, what else is exciting coming my way...Oh, I am going to AFRICA in March... That's if my passport comes before the trip. I will be doing some volunteer work, mostly working with woman and children regarding AIDS AND HIV. I really look forward to this trip. I truly believe that I was put on this earth to be a servant and if that is what I am called to do then I am there.

Um, as far as the love life....nothing there. I have met a kewl person but knowing that I am leaving I would never lead anyone on and get there hopes up but if I was staying here. We would be together. For now we are just talking on the phone and try not to hang out to much because I fall easily.

I still have this dayum hair and want to cut it so bad. Why can't I cut it. What is stopping me?

Oh, Mr. O, I am still waiting on my song.

I decided to hit up Miami this year in May. I hope it lives up to the hype.

BIG CONGRATS TO MY BOI MAURICE JAMAL... THE NAACP NOD FOR DIRTY LAUNDRY.

Iight people, I am getting sleepy and starting to ramble. Rambling is good. That's why I like this blog thing. I just write whats on my mind. I really don't care about grammar, punctuation, and all that. This is a release for me. Until late.

Peace and Blessings.

2007-12-24T15:18:00.000-08:00

December 24, 2007

Wassup people? The Piscean here once again trying to stay focused and jot down a little something on the regular.

Ok, last night went to the now famous Sunday night gathering spot here in LA. It was packed as I thought it would be. Hmmm, I was a little (hate using the term shady, but it is what it is)shady to a few people. My thing is don't try to act like you have been talking with me for a long time when you have not and want to be in my face for one nite. Not happening. People are just too funny. I have one person that we rarely speak and he actually reached out to shake my hand. This is because his best friend and I are buddies and he didn't want anyone to know that we do not talk as friends anymore. I was cordial and I extended my hand. (Hey it's Christmas). Then there were a group of people that I have known from my best friend that now lives in NJ. It was about four of them. I didn't crack my mouth to say anything and neither did they. Now, if my boi was in town they would have been all up in our face. (that's LA for you).

Sir TJ was in the building last night and looking great. TJ, we will def meet for dinner sir.

OOOhh, How about I got propositioned for a threesome. GO figure.. LOL. (I don't want to hear it Mr. Jackson). Yo I was shocked. But hey the crazy part about that is when I said no, they asked two other peeps that were around me. lol

What else, what else...... I was going to talk mess about an actor turned model that think they are the shyt when they have only been in one episode of a Logo sitcom ( now cancelled) was in the building last night. But I will not talk bad about the. Sure that they are a nice guy. ( i guess)

There was a fight in the building last night and I am so glad it was not none of US. Thank you Lawd.

Not much else to tell , I know that was kinda boring. LOL ...

Thanks to everyone that reads my blog.

Merry Christmas

2007-12-22T14:40:00.000-08:00

December 22,2007

Wow, I didn't think I would get that many responses to my last post. Thanks to everyone that chimmed in.

Can I just say that I love Trent. Although, I really don't know him that well but I love him for who he is. He changes for no one. You either love the guy or hate him. LOL

Ok, here it goes..

I went to a Christmas party on last week and can I say that I enjoyed myself to the fullest. (brief interruption. How do you strike up a conversation with someone that you think is checking you out at a party and it's not a "kids" party. Let me know).
The party was at an entertainers home and it was awesome. Everyone was great. There were no DIVAS OR DIVOS, everyone was on the same level. Free food, free drinks were flowing all night. Beautiful guest, and servers. The host was awesome, plus the toys and other items collected for the underprivileged was stacked high from the floor up. Who says we as a people can't come together for a good cause.

I do not like to name drop but I will say that I got to meet Sheri Shepherd and can I tell you that she is a beautiful woman with an equally beautiful spirit. I love her.

Moving on to another event that i attended and was shocked at what I noticed.
Went to a Christmas Concert at a well know church here in LA. The concert was ok, it was free but they did collect an offering. I understand that most churches now have security teams along with deacons that collect the offering but when I actually noticed the LARGE GUN on one of the security guys I was a little on the shocked side. I understand that not everyone that comes to church are holy and upright and you never know what to expect but my God a gun in the sanctuary. What ever happened to TRUST IN THE LORD IN ALL THY WAYS AND LEAN NOT TO THY OWN UNDERSTANDING. IN ALL THY WAY ACKNOWLEDGE HIM AND HE SHALL DIRECT YOUR PATH. I think we as a church should really start believing in what we teach and preach.

Until later. Have a very MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A BLESSED AND PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR

2007-12-16T10:39:00.000-08:00

12/16/07

10 CONFESSIONS

They say confessions are good for the soul. Well, I need to free myself of a few things to move to the next level in my life.

1. I'm a church boy

2. I'm afraid of dying alone and not having anyone in my life

3. I have huge azz crush on a fellow blogger. I really can't give too many DETAILS. lol

4. I struggle with insecurities

5. I have dated a well know supermodel (female)

6. I can hold grudges a very long time

7. I am not comfortable with my sexuality

8. I have never really been in love and when it came close I was always hurt

9. I have no real relationshio with my parents at all and its not because of sexuality (no one knows)

10. Although I modeled for 15 years, I never found myself attractive

There it is. Hmm.

2007-09-07T10:55:00.000-07:00

9/7/07

Hello everyone. After reading my last few blogs and thinking over somethings I thought it would be best to get something out in the open.

I have no ills against my roommate. In fact I care for him deeply, regardless of the issues that we have overcome and the living situation. He is still a kind, generous soul. So I don't want anyone to think that I have hate in my heart for the brother. He's a good guy.

Umm, some have thought that I have totally lost my mind since I made the checking out of here(suicide thought) comment. Hey, I am hear as long as the Lord has work for me to do. I am not going anywhere. Although I may be relocating sometime next year. We will see......

The no friends comment was true until someone jumped down my throat and made me realize that there are friendships out there to be made, I just need to take advantage of them. Thanks TJ... :-)

This weekend is going to be a great one for me. I ask that you all continue to pray for me because the devil is out to destroy me. I had a blow out on the freeway on yesterday but GOD guided me to safety and I changed the tire in 5mins time and was still on time for wrk. GOD IS GOOD. When the devil is busy like that I know GOD is getting ready to blow my mind.

I will be in serious spiritual warfare in the next couple of weeks, I just ask those that can pray and will , please do.

Peace and Blessings everyone. Be safe and if you can't be safe, don't do it.

2007-09-01T21:41:00.000-07:00

This is Saturday and I have had a headache all day. The roomie and I went to pay the rent (he asked if I wanted to go and I didn't want to seem shady so I went).

What does this holiday weekend have in store for me? Well I guess I will hit the little spot on tomorrow in West Hollywood. Sure it will be a crowd and I'm sure once again I will be labelled as shady, stuck up , arrogant, stand offish. Oh well such is life. I really would like to get drunk on tomorrow but I have no one to drive me home. Sure the roomie will be going out as well but that would not be a good idea for me to ride with THEM while I am intoxicated plus the roomie might stay at the boyfriends house, since I'm sure the boyfriend is staying here tonight.

I don't know. I have no friends here in Cali anymore. So once again I will continue to be a workaholic, go to church, come home and chill. I rarelly meet peeps to date because I do not go out often. Tried the internet thing but there is nothing on there but kids and immature adults. I apologize, I have chatted with a few peeps on the internet but two are in London and one in NYC go figure.
***pause Wishing Much Success to Omar*****

Ok, I'm back. I tried to call a few people today while I sat home, actually I text about 6 peeps and got two responses. WOW.

One more month and 8 yrs worth of hair will be gone.

I am starting to ramble now.

Have you ever gotten the feeling that everyone knows everything that you are going through and you have not told them anything or that someone or something is trying to stop you from achieving success or happiness. I just had (really a few seconds ago) this feeling that someone is out to get me. I just continue to pray and ask GOD that the trap or the situation someone is setting up for me falls back on them.

Ok, I am out of here. Time to really pray.

Be Blessed peeps, enjoy your holiday weekend.

2007-08-28T21:34:00.000-07:00

8/28/07

IN SPITE OF ALL THAT WE GO THROUGH............GOD IS

Well, I feel that I am finally getting over the hump of the situation and it feels pretty good.
One thing that I will say is, never say what you will never do. There was a time that I said that I would never commit suicide and for a split second it entered my mind to do so. OH but thank GOD for keeping my mind. My prayer daily was Lord please keep my mind and let me remember that you love me more than anyone else.

Just knowing that GOD has someone and something waiting for me is enough for me to go on. I will no longer allow anyone to make me feel worthless again.

I think that I am an attractively, handsome brother and I will be treated as such.

Thanks for the few who have given encouraging words and advice.

2007-08-14T20:34:00.000-07:00

Tuesday August 14 2007

Hmmph. Here I sit in my bedroom, with the door closed, typing this blog, while my roommate is in the dining room (more than likely having dinner) with his boyfriend. Hmm, usually dinner would be waiting on me when I get home in the evenings. Not tonite I see. I guess they went out to grab a bite and brought it back, but I don't recall being asked if I wanted anything. Or should I have even been on anyone's mind? Guess not.
The motto is "two is company, three's a crowd" and I don't want to have any parts of it. WOW, I can here them smacking. But I am going to be kewl about it. Yes it's eating me up but I can actually say that I am about 70 - 80% over the situation. No, I will never be 100%.

So, I sit and type, sit and surf the net, sit and chatt, sit and think, and think, and wonder, and think, and control my emotions, and think what could have been and what should be, and sit, and realize that I have no one to talk to because my best friend is in NY chillin at one of his bois spot, enjoying life. While I feel trapped.

Never again will I let my guard down from around my heart. It's too painful but it was a learning experience for me as well.

I feel like a broken record. But it's all good. *
(Here comes the rambling, lol)
I think they have went into his room, I hope so.

Hey peeps, thanks for putting up with all my drama.

PEACE AND BLESSINGS

2007-07-17T13:06:00.000-07:00

July 17th

My First and maybe Last

Hey to anyone who is reading this. I really didn't want to blog about this issue but it is eating me up inside and I have no one to talk to. I have been so emotionally sick and drained the past 2wks that it's not funny and over what? Falling in Love

I fell in love with someone and didn't really want to admit to it until it was too late. The person moved on and started dating someone else. When I tell you that I have cried over the last past two weeks, I have really cried. The person did not know how I felt and that's the worse part about it. I never came out and said " I love you and I want to be with you". When I tell you it hurts so bad, sometimes I can't breathe at night. After said person stated that they were dating someone that is when all truth came out and they were apologizing and saying they wish they would have known. Funny thing is that they liked me as well. So yes there was a big azz lack of communication from two people that communicate very well. I feel as if someone has taken my heart, squeezed the blood out and drank it in front of my face. I have been trying to get over it but it's a day by day fight for me. I have never met anyone like this individual. From day one they were caring, comforting, intelligent, humorous, bright, great smile beautiful body. Man, I missed just being next to them. I have met the person that they're dating and it's kewl. I wished them both well but I am not going to give up.
I'm sorry that I can not put a lot more of the story in the blog but you get the gest of it. I would like to offer this up to everyone. If you love someone please tell them up front. No one is a mind reader.

Oh, sorry. There is one twist to the story.

The person is my roommate.

2007-06-03T23:06:00.000-07:00

June 3, 2007

You Look Crazy

Hmm where do I begin. The weekend was very restful. Sunday I attended a little fund raising gathering and then went by the Sunday night meeting spot. It was kewl. I met someone at the fundraising event and they stated that they would prob head to the meeting spot. I don't know why I took that as "I will meet up with you there and we can chill and chat". I was sadly mistaken. They did attend but we never chatted and there was plenty of opportunity. Was it my fault for not approaching them and speaking or was it my fault for putting more into the issue? Oh well, not going to worry about it.
I was sitting on the upper part of the facility by myself just looking out over the crowd and received a text from my roommate. " You Look Crazy" I simply responded with "thank you for the compliment" . Was I looking crazy because I was in a place full of people and I was not socializing and not trying to meet anyone? To be honest I can be stand offish ( is that a word?). I guess that is why I really don't go out to clubs.

Oh, speaking of which. I ran into fellow blogger Trent at the fund raiser. Trent is a good guy and very genuine. Always have a smile. (Hi Trent).

Also another great moment on toady's date. I took my annual HIV test and it's Negative. I would like to encourage everyone to take the test. Even if you have not been sexually active in awhile. It's worth taking the test and it's free.

That's it for me. Peace and Blessing Everyone.

2007-05-30T20:07:00.000-07:00

May 30th 2007

San Juan Baby

What can I say about San Juan?

It was an experience I will never forget. Will not bore you much of the sordid details but I will tell you that I had a great time. Even though when I first arrive and went for a walk from the hotel I got caught in a rain storm. Yea, San Juan had a little thunder storm that lasted about 3 hours but it was all good after that. Hey, I don't mind being wet ever now and then.

The event was kewl, since it was my first time attending I really didn't know what to expect. I met a couple of kewl people and we hung out and chilled the whole weekend. I can say that the were a few events that were off the hook for me was the opening night meet and greet (which it seems that people don't get the whole concept. You suppose to introduce yourself to people and engage in conversation.), the Friday night club, the White Party and the last party on Monday night.

I did the tour of the rain forest, which was off the hook. We had to park on top of this hill just to make our way down to the entrance of the trail leading into the rain forest. After a 25 min walk in the rain forest(keeping in mind that we are walking down) we finally emerge upon a massive waterfall. It was great and I had the brilliant idea to get my a-- in the water and take a picture under the falls. It was kewl as hell, although I do not swim that well, there was a Puerto Rican woman that kept insisting that I jump in and she would grab my hand and pull me to the falls. It was funny as hell. I dove in, paddled my way to her and she pulled me up to the falls where I could stand upon the rock for leverage. Best experience in my life. It wasn't until I was under the falls(water) she told me that there are few rocks in the water that I could stand on, everything else was about 10 feet deep. I got my a-- from under the falls and paddled back to the rock I was sitting on.

That's just a little glimpse inside my San Juan trip. One more trip this year and it's to NYC for my bestfriend's B-Day.

Until later.

Peace and Blessings

2007-05-19T19:29:00.000-07:00

May 19, 2007

I'M BACK

I know it's been awhile but life continues on.

Since being placed in a new position with new responsibilities, more money, a title and incentives, I can say it's been challenging. Travel to meet clients every month , meetings weekly and the expectancy to get desk work done can be very draining, especially having to drive a total of 3 hours (to and from wrk) on a daily basis. But all is well with my soul and God is still good.

Hey, I am finally going to Puerto Rico!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have tried to go for the last 3 yrs. This year the ticket has been purchased and the room reserved. I tried to get a group of peeps to go but they P footed around so the lost out. Oh well, I can enjoy it by myself. I'm sure I will meet lots of new associates. It's crazy how excited I am. I am so excited about going that I packed my bag today and I do not leave until Thursday night.

The roommate situation is coming along well. It's a little sensitive at times but that another story at another time.

I have been reading a lot of blogs and it is very encouraging to see a lot of brothers getting their degrees and furthering their education. That just inspires me to continue and get that paper.

Also wanted to give some accolades to a couple of bloggers. I know a couple read my blog but don't know about the others.

Congrats to Trent Jackson and Dayne Avery. Both of these beautiful men have or will have their second book published and released. This is a huge accomplishment. Please support these two brothers.

Congrats to Marz on his upcoming graduation and entering this thing called life. Much success Marz.

Thanks to Fuzzy and ShawnQT for giving us a glimpse of their relationship with their friends and each other. These two are an inspiration to show that there can be a committed relationship between two guy. Thanks again.

There are so many more but I just can't recall them all. Lol

As far as myself, this is what lies ahead for THE PISCEAN. I have one more major trip this year when I return from PR. I will be going to NYC in June. Once I return it's grind time. Finish school, pay off student loans, pay off other minor bills. Start saving for a home(wherever it may be), increase the percentage in my 401k by 3%. Goal is to have an additional 5K in my saving account by Dec.

Another goal that I need to work on is scouting locations and start getting grants for a film short that I have written. It's small, poignant and I love it. I can't tell any of it, sorry but it is controversial.

Well I think I have said enough for tonight.

Here's wishing everyone a blessed and prosperous year!

Peace and Blessing

2007-05-08T13:38:00.001-07:00

UPDATE SOON TO COME. STAY TUNED

2007-01-24T18:21:00.000-08:00

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Jan 24, 2007

Stepping out into the deep

Well here it goes blog land. You just don't know how terrified I am about doing this but again I am a grown man so I need to act like it.

This is a pic that my best friend took as I was sleeping. I know it's not a good and clear pic but it's here.

Well, that's two things of my list for 2007. I have put a pic online and I have met a couple of New York Bloggers.

Peace and Blessings

Due to situations beyond my control, I have removed the photo.
Peace and Blessings

2007-01-22T18:10:00.000-08:00

January 15, 2007

Happy Martin Luther King Jr. Day

Well today is the day that we will be heading home. It was a laid back day. Everyone pretty much sleep late and pig out on whatever was left in the fridge. I can say that we did pretty good with the purchase of food. There wasn’t too much that was wasted.
We are talking about coming back in the summer to see what we can get into.
On the way to the airport we stopped and took pictures. It was cold as hell but we managed.
I am currently sitting in the airport on my way back to LA. Once there I have to get myself ready to move into a new place with a new roommate, pull my things from storage and prepare for my new position.
I think I have a date on tomorrow. A movie date, if I am not mistaking. I will see if it is still on when I return.

Well good people, I am out of here. Until the next time,

Peace and Blessings

2007-01-19T17:18:00.000-08:00

January 13, 2007
As I continue on this Journey

Well I am here in the mountains at a huge as Logged Estate. Five bedrooms, three baths, huge kitchen, huge dining area, lounge area with a fireplace, huge entertainment room with a fireplace, back lounge area with fireplace and bar, hot tub, basketball court, three televisions, backhouse and surrounded by a great view of mountains and trees. (I just might add a few pictures from the trip.)
Well, I have met another one of my goals. Not have I only met one but I have met to New York bloggers. Hmm, I can say that the experience was very interesting. Not what I expected but it was all good. Today was just a chill day. We pretty much familiarized our self with the area. The snow is off the hook. Although I am use to it since I am originally from Chicago but this was amazing. Just to see the snow on the mountain with the sun shining behind it was crazy.

Can I say that we have been eating our azzes off. LOL, not eating out but home cooked food. From breakfast to dinner man. It’s great to have friends and associates that know how to cook.
Really got to know some of my best friends associates from New York. Everyone seems pretty kewl. Will have to do an assessment when I get home.

Saturday night we pretty much chilled, laughed, talked and got to know each other a little. One of the invitees did not get in until 2 am so a couple of us went to get him from the Stateline.

Question of the day:

When you see something that you do not care for and it really does not involve you, should you be vocal about it?

- First impressions are everything

January 14, 2007
And on the Seventh Day He Rested

Today was real kewl. We got up and had breakfast, went snowboarding and sledding. Took a long walk while getting a photo op on the way. It was all good until a couple of us had a hard time breathing because of the altitude we were at. The pictures are awesome. Maybe I will post a few on here.
After the walk we went back to the estate and rested, showered and prepared dinner. You would have thought it was Thanksgiving. It was a feast man. We were all thankful for being there and for the fellowship of old and new friends. After dinner, we watched a couple of movies. One was suppose to be a scary movie but it was stupid as hell. After that we just chilled in the back lounge area with the bar.

Discussion went from music, relationships to I Love New York. Yes, that stupid reality television show which to me seems scripted. After that I went to bed. A brother was full and tired.

Well that’s it for now.

Question for today:
Is it wrong for you to think that one of your associates is sexy azz hell?

Leave you with this.

- An unopened gift is worthless.

2007-01-18T17:01:00.000-08:00

January 12, 2007
A New Year, New Adventures

Well as many know, I will be residing in lovely LA for another year. I have made up in my mind if any opportunity to enjoy myself, bring positive vibes into my life I am going for it. In saying that, I am sitting at an airport in Reno about to head for Tahoe for skiing.
This will be my first time skiing and I look forward to it.
My best friend (who you have read about in a previous entry) invited me to join him and some of his buddies from New York. There was no hesitation I said yes.
It will be interesting to vibe and meet new people. In a way it will even be challenging. Sometimes when people first meet me they think that I am either conceited, stuck up, arrogant, stand offish(is that a word, lol) or just anti social. I am who I am and I can’t be fake for anyone. Once I get to know a person and feel their vibe then and only then will I loosen up.
I pretty much purchased almost everything the last night after work. I know, procrastination. Boots, ski bibs, thick socks, thermal underwear, sleeping attire and first aid kits ;-) (Be prepared for anything).
The only thing that I am not looking toward in this trip is the driving. I hate driving. Considering that I drive to work a total of 2 ½ hours daily. I am tired of driving and having to drive in the mountains does not help. If I can get out of driving I will.

More on the trip tomorrow.

Looks like I am getting closer to one of my goals from the last post. I will have a picture online before the end of the month. This is a huge step for me because I am a very private person. Having pictures posted all over the net is a very scary thing for me. But this year I am overcoming my fears and as another blogger stated, I am going to start loving myself. (That’s a whole new blog in itself.) When I love others I love hard and give all, so it’s time for me to do that for myself.

Question for the day -
What would you do if you moved in with someone that was looking for a roommate and find yourself attracted to him/her? Keep in mind that they already have a boyfriend/girlfriend and the relationship is not strong.
Would you:
A. Keep it professional and not let your feelings show?
B. Let the roommate know right off the back so that he/she will be aware decide if it will be a conflict?
C. Wait until they break up with the significant other and then tell them?
Can’t wait to read the results.
I leave you with this as I close this entry

- Knowing and loving God is our greatest privilege, and being known and loved is God’s greatest pleasure_

2007-01-03T16:38:00.000-08:00

January 3, 2007

HAPPY NEW YEAR

Well 2007 has come and I am yet in Los Angeles. Yes plans have once again changed. I believe that God works things the way he wants them to be. So lets just say that my job offered me a nice increase to stay. I really wasn't looking forward to traveling in the winter anyway. Plus I enjoy what I do at the office.

This New Year has already brought some interesting events. I attended a New Years Eve party and the host informed me that she knew of someone that wanted to get to know me a little more. I have a feeling I know who it is but will not assume. I have never been in a serious relationship or even dated seriously as a matter of fact, so this should be interesting.
I'm going skiing for the first time ever with my best friend and some others. I think this will be interesting to meet new people that are not really in my circle. Will def blog about the trip.
I also finished a script. It was very challenging because the subject matter is a sensitive one but I will have someone that is in the industry look it over for me. ( Oh, don't worry, its copy written)
I deleted a lot of people out of my cell phone and email list. (Again, New Beginnings)

There are a few things that I want to accomplish this year, I will list a few:
1. Meet some of the New York Bloggers
2. Read Mr. Trents book
3. Blog daily. lol
4. Get enough courage to put a pic up..
5. Celebrate my fathers birthday with all my other brothers and sisters ( I am the oldest)
6. Obtain a Real Estate License

Those are just a few for now.

Until later people. Have a great one.

Peace and Blessings

2006-09-27T08:43:00.000-07:00

TWISTS, TURNS AND BUMPS IN THE ROAD

Not to beat around the bush and time is of the essence.
I am all geared up for moving to NJ. I already have a place to stay and a list of NY Bloggers I would love to sit and have serious conversations with. But then there is a twist. I would be chilling with one of my best friends which recently just moved there about 3 months ago. He has a two bedroom condo( mind you that I do know how small the apts/condos are in NY)and stated that it was cool for me to chill until I get my own space. All good, no problems. I told him that I would like to have a job before I moved so that I could jump right into the working world. He was kewl with it. Yesterday, I sent an email just to make sure that everything was kewl and he sent an email back stating that it was but everything was tight as far as space and that he had to through a lot of clothes out because of the space and other things. He also stated that a job was essential and that I would have any expenses there so that I could stack my chips to obtain a deposit and purchase my essentials ( WTF) for my own place.
When I read that email something in my spirit clicked.

(digressing for one moment)
I have always had a problem with being very independent, not relying on anyone but GOD. When I moved to LA 8yrs ago it was nothing but GOD because I knew no one. I had the job and the apartment before I moved here and there was no roommate. I have been here 8 yrs, with a few struggles and disappointments but I made it. I am the type of person that will not take anyone for granted nor would I want to be placed in a situation where I or someone else is uncomfortable.
( back to the issue at hand)

When I felt that click in my spirit, I immediately sent an email back to say that I understood that things would be tight and thanked him for the offer to move in but I would be relocating back to CHICAGO. Yes, CHICAGO.
Chicago is home for me. I still have my place there with my best friend there and I still have keys to the house ( that's how close we are,tru brothers). Instead of paying $800.00 for rent, my portion is only $300.00 and its a 3 story home, full basement and 3 rooms. I really didn't want to move back to Chicago because I felt it was a step back, but I figure that it would be kewl because I can def get a good job, still save the chips and within a year have enough to relocate to NJ or NY on my own in my own and live comfortable.

Questions to the Bloggers:
Do you think that I am moving based on emotions or was this a true sign?

I really wouldn't want to kill a great friendship by moving in and clashing with the homie.

2006-09-25T17:14:00.000-07:00

TRANSITION AND NEW BEGINNINGS

People always say change is good. I like to think that it is more challenging than simply good. Moving to Los Angels 8 years ago from Chicago was good. It took me away from my comfort zone( family and friends ) and placed me somewhere to trust GOD and only him to succeed in what challenges life had in store for me. I can truly say that I have had my share of challenges, struggles, downfalls and failures but on the other hand I have had an experience of a lifetime, met a few new associates and friends(not too many). I have had success, growth, maturity and loves. I have learned so much about myself that it has caused me to really step back and look into the mirror and be truthful to myself.
Everyone says that California is full of fake and phony people although this is partially true it;s usually the people that relocate to California are the fake and phony. You get phonies everywhere. ( except NY LOL). That brings me to the point of this entry.

My stay in California will end mid November. I am at the next phase of my life and that is NY. Well actually NJ, but close enough to NY. My journey will take me to New Jersey to see what GOD has planned for me there. I believe nothing is done by accident or circumstance but in divine order. I contemplated, prayed and meditated on this move because my original destination was back to Chicago. I have always wanted to live in Brooklyn so I guess Jersey will have to do for now. Am I scared? No, Just a little nervous. Moving into a new life experience is always a shock. I'm just taking it one step at a time.

- side bar-
I just want to publicly thank someone for introducing me to this thing called BLOG. They did it without even knowing that they did it. I started reading his blog 10 months ago and reading all the bloggers that he had on his list. Mind you I have been knowing this person for more than 11 years and we lost contact. His God Father is one of my best friends and former roommate. BOBBY BROWN JR thank you for opening my eyes to a whole different world of self. By reading your words, commentaries, cuts, insights and proclamations I have come to accept myself. Something that I have always failed to do previously. Yea, it appeared as if I had it all together but a lot of us have mastered the art of wearing masks. Thank you sir for helping me to remove the mask.

-I digressed-

So, by mid November I will reside on the east coast and look forward to all the opportunity that life has for me. Hopefully I can take blog land on the journey with me. Two others that I want to acknowledge on here.

Sir Trent - Yo man, it was a pleasure meeting you at the ABBEY in July ( I was the guy in all white with the locs. Remember you asked for a pic?). Never change man. Be you. Oh, and yes you are shy and quiet in person.

Sir Dayne- The Book. What can I say. I love it, I love the insight that you have. Don't give up the dream man, and the quest to find self never really ends because there is always more to gain, learn and experience.

That's it for now. I think I have rambled enough.

Peace and Blessing
(pls excuse the spelling errors and any other grammatical errors)

2006-09-19T09:25:00.000-07:00

NEW POST COMING SOON

2006-05-10T17:42:00.000-07:00

5/10/06

I have found that the most challenging thing about blogging is being consistent . All to often, time seems to run out and you forget to blog but funny enough I read them daily. I also fear that when writing my words and sentences are not grammatically correct or I may have a mispelled word every now and then. But I am sure once I decide to RELEASE myself into the blogg community you will get me together.

As for my thoughts today. I really don't know what I am feeling. I am at work by myself. Everyone went home about 30 mins ago. Why am I still at the office? I am meeting up with someone at 7 I don't know what. Checking out a location at 11 for a proposal that I have to turn in by Friday. So, why am I still sitting at my desk? Is it that the gas prices are so high that I do not want to go home first and I would rather sit here until 6 and drive 45 min and be at my meeting spot by 7? Is it that I just don't want to go to my apartment because once I get there I will lay it down and that will be the end of the day? Or is it that I live such a boring life that working is the only thing that satisfy me?

2006-05-05T18:30:00.000-07:00

May 5, 2006

It's funny how reading others trials, tribulations, opinions and daily routines makes one want to jump on the band wagon and share their own stories in an open forum.

Welcome to the wonderful world of Bloggville