8/28/07

IN SPITE OF ALL THAT WE GO THROUGH............GOD IS

Well, I feel that I am finally getting over the hump of the situation and it feels pretty good.
One thing that I will say is, never say what you will never do. There was a time that I said that I would never commit suicide and for a split second it entered my mind to do so. OH but thank GOD for keeping my mind. My prayer daily was Lord please keep my mind and let me remember that you love me more than anyone else.

Just knowing that GOD has someone and something waiting for me is enough for me to go on. I will no longer allow anyone to make me feel worthless again.

I think that I am an attractively, handsome brother and I will be treated as such.

Thanks for the few who have given encouraging words and advice.

Tuesday August 14 2007

Hmmph. Here I sit in my bedroom, with the door closed, typing this blog, while my roommate is in the dining room (more than likely having dinner) with his boyfriend. Hmm, usually dinner would be waiting on me when I get home in the evenings. Not tonite I see. I guess they went out to grab a bite and brought it back, but I don't recall being asked if I wanted anything. Or should I have even been on anyone's mind? Guess not.
The motto is "two is company, three's a crowd" and I don't want to have any parts of it. WOW, I can here them smacking. But I am going to be kewl about it. Yes it's eating me up but I can actually say that I am about 70 - 80% over the situation. No, I will never be 100%.

So, I sit and type, sit and surf the net, sit and chatt, sit and think, and think, and wonder, and think, and control my emotions, and think what could have been and what should be, and sit, and realize that I have no one to talk to because my best friend is in NY chillin at one of his bois spot, enjoying life. While I feel trapped.

Never again will I let my guard down from around my heart. It's too painful but it was a learning experience for me as well.

I feel like a broken record. But it's all good. *
(Here comes the rambling, lol)
I think they have went into his room, I hope so.

Hey peeps, thanks for putting up with all my drama.

PEACE AND BLESSINGS